I have arrived

I have had the best day ever.  We stayed in our pajamas and played.  The boys then played together a while and I got some advance school planning done.  Then we made drums and Bucho and I watched Sleeping Beauty while Button and BuddyCake slept.

Why is this so revolutionary?  I don’t sit still well, and even my leisure usually has a purpose.  Life to me is a list of things to do and generally other people get in the way.  I am learning though.  When you discover that one of the major “to dos” in your life is to raise three happy, healthy, Godly, responsible, etc. . . adults, it tends to change your entire world.  At least it is changing mine.  And I think for the good.

Reaping the harvest

I have been working the last six weeks on a smooth running house.  Last night, it really payed off.  We take a break from school on Wednesdays for library story time and I do the minimum of chores.  Last night after dinner, BuddyCake (boy, 3 years) put in a load of laundry while Bucho cleared the table and I loaded the dishwasher.  Hubby snuggled with Button and then took out the trash.  We were all done and ready to go to church at 6pm with little fuss or confusion.  WHOOO HOOO!

Favorite organizing site: FlyLady.net

So, how have I done it?  I am sorry to say, it has been a long and trying adventure to get here and it starts with a fundamental shift in thinking.

What is the most important thing you want to pass on to your kids?  Love, joy, peace, happiness, God . . .

What do you want your kids to look like when they are 18 and walk out your door? (or do you want them to walk out your door?)

I inherited a view of childraising that helps me to see my kids as future adults who will have to live on their own and care for themselves.  I do not have the means nor the desire to care for them for the rest of their lives.

Hubby (and many others) have seen kids as kids.  They need to be loved and coddled, they are irrisponsible and you try to minimize the damage they create no matter the cost.

Now part of both views are true-and you can tell my bias- but there needs to be a happy medium.

They need love, compassionand play AND guidance, discipline and work.

That’s what I love about homeschooling.  We really have time for it all.  Bucho (boy of 5) plays-a-plenty and still does 1-2 hours of school and chores: pick up toys, empty silverwear, clear table, plays with siblings when asked, makes beds, dusts and vacuums his room, picks up the toys outside.

We don’t argue about whether he does them.  He just does.  I started him doing these things when he thought they were just fun things to do and it has stuck for the most part.  We have had our moments of revolt, but I have won all the battles!

We use an incentive chart that has progressed with age.  When he was 2-3 years, he got stickers for each job.  4-5 years, he got points that he had to use to do any fun activity- video games, play outside, TV.

Now he has just started a charts that awards point the same way, but the points translate into money.  He has earned about three dollars and is working toward a seven dollar transformer.

Whoa look at the time . . .

Basking

I have always loved my family and felt close to them, but I would never have expected that we could have such fun and such peace for so long.  We have been together now for three weeks, and we are just starting the “vacation” portion of the trip.  We arrived at our AL condo today and have settled in, got the kids to bed and showered.  It is fairly quiet, but I am still awake.  I have been sick for the last two days and had to go to the doctor yesterday and get a shot. Yuk.  But I am much better and am ready for the week.

38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Luke 6:38 (NIV)Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

BibleGateway.com

I have been thinking about this verse all week.  I have had a blessed life, but like most people, I have never really been able to see what I have.  Life has not been perfect.  Depression has run through many parts of my family ultimately causing the death of my father.  But I was raised in a healthy, secure way and I have always felt the love of those close to me and the love of God.

I have had a “good measure” of blessing just from the family and friends I have been given and the satisfiing things I have done.  I have had “pressed down” through my husband and my two beautiful sons.

This summer, I am gettting a glimpse of “shaken together and running over.”  I am seeing so many of my prayers about myself being answered.  Prayers about having more patience, being more loving, feeling more satisfied with my self and my life, and having great relationships.  All of these things have shown up in very real ways. I thinks that’s my “shaken together.”

“Running over”?  My daughter.  She was my end of the summer surprise last year.  We were pretty happy with our boys and were talking about ending the baby train permanently when I found out I was pregnant.  (I thought briefly about making surprise her middle name, but that made her sound like a stripper.)  In the first four months of her life, she has been an absolute joy.  She has smiled, cooed and cuddled with anyone who was willing.  This last month though, she has outdone herself.  Not only has she continued to be a blessing to us, but she has poured out our blessing to her great-grandparents and her grandparents.  Three of these dear ones are dealing with health and aging issues that seem to make them feel useless or in the way at times.  My little Button brought bright beautiful smiles to all of their faces.  Her God given charm definitely runs over.